disappointment and me

you're one big phony, one big fake
i know now, that trusting you
was a huge mistake

i waited all night
and every time i heard footsteps
i'd look around and see
but the only thing i saw was
disappointment and me

i bought a new dress
and put on high heels
i wanted to look nice for you
so i made a great, big deal

i curled my hair
and painted my nails
i waited so long
then realized you had bailed

just in case you were there
i looked all around to see
but the only thing i saw was
disappointment and me

so i just went on home
and kicked off my heels
attacked the freezer
and made ice cream my whole meal

i sat down on the couch
and turned on the TV
the only two that were there were
disappointment and me

i heard a knock on the door
so i got up to see
i looked through the peephole
that's when disappointment left me

he came around
it took him some time
but he arrived finally
from then on, it was never just
disappointment and me

simply a poem

the crazy web i weave that seems so tangled and torn
always so messy, since the day i was born
when i fall on hard times
i want to take some lemon and limes
create a fruit cocktail
get on a boat, and take sail
off to a far away land
with coconuts and sand
and sky high palm trees
but i fall to my knees
and cover my face with my fingers
as those tears that i cry linger
waterfalls down smooth sandstone
i wish i wasn't so alone
but you don't understand
please just take my hand
let me follow you
walk in your shoes
please don't let go
i really do love you so
even maybe if you don't care
all i want is for you to share
your heart with me
can't you see
take my hand
and lets go to a far away land.

.COLLEGE SEPARATION.

as the flock is being torn and ripped apart
to go their seperate ways
to learn astounding new things
and to meet other flocks
we will always have eachother
and be able to confide in our sisterhood
then as the seasons change
and the winds change course
the flock will rejoin once again
and flap in merriment and joy
as we tell stories and laugh
like all the old times before...

what will happen

the act of moving on with my life is hard to grasp
the motions may all be taking place but the reality has not started to sink in
the bedding is being bought
the rugs, the pillows, the blankets
the ideas for appliances in the kitchen
the living room
oh, and the bathroom
the closet
college life shall be a leap of faith
the idea feels so surreal, so far away..
when in truth, its just down the street and around the corner a little ways

the idea of BEING ON MY OWN
with no parental guidance
IS SO FREEING AND WONDERFUL
but at the same time really scary, along with shorts bursts of manic moments that contain the words HOLY HELL, HOW?

the idea of leaving friends
and of friends leaving you
is sad, and heart wrenching
these bonds i've created, i don't want to break them
who knows if i'll get to see them again
but hey, nowadays there is the internet, and skype
THANK GOD FOR SKYPE
and cellphones -yeah that was a good invention
with the whole thing about how it fits into your pocket
smart move
but still...

optimism pie, i need to take a bite
hell, i need a whole slice
actually, more like the WHOLE DAMN PIE

THATDREAM

that dream, i had it.
the one where you close your eyes and drift off to sleep
where all of a sudden you're moving through clouds then suddenly, you realize you're flying
kinda like the scene in the animated version of peter pan
where you're flying above everything you know:
the town you live in, the houses, all the buildings
the whole, "i can see my house from here!!"
the feeling is wonderful.
by being so free that you can do whatever you want
doing loops and flips, going fast and then just floating along
but when you wake up.....

well, its a great dream
you should have it sometime

summer nights

its never quiet.
you never are truly alone with your thoughts

as i sit here, i hear crickets as well as an assortment of other creepy crawlers and vocal things coming from outside my window
the hum of my computer, the whir of the ceiling fan
the typing of my keys as i write this down

the calmness that is solitude
the tranquility that one needs
the peace that accompanies bliss
why does it have to be so hard to find?

an end to an era.
high school.
i have completed you.
i will soon walk across a stage, in attempting not to fall in heels in front of my whole class..
its surreal; to end something that seemed in the first place to LAST FOREVER.
something that i never imagined who have come so quickly.

and to think..
all those faces that i might never be seen again
the faces passed in the hallways
the bodies that i sat next to
the voices i heard for four years
possibly soon, they'll be just a memory.

its odd
you know, to think that its all over
with everyone branching out..maybe to never come back to the home tree
some will succeed, some are going to fail
its unbelievable
and at the same time, marvelous.

high school, i say adieu.